the bean jar

With all of the craziness of having a new baby in the family (which we are so thankful for), my parenting skills have taken a backseat. Before, I could focus all of my efforts solely on M, but now I am struggling to parent M and take care of baby J's needs.

After bringing baby J home, I realized I was losing my patience with M a lot more than I used to. I was feeling like a terrible mother. It felt as if I was constantly nagging M to do what I asked. I knew something needed to change. My wise mother reminded me to ask Heavenly Father for help with knowing how to parent M, so I did. 

A few days after I started praying for help, I went to get my hair cut. My hairdresser and I got on the topic of parenting little boys; she has two young boys of her own. It was in this conversation that I received some major guidance on what to do to help M.

At her house, they do the bean jar. Anytime she catches her boys doing something good, they get to put beans in their own glass jar. Doing chores the first time they were asked, using good manners, or playing nicely with each other are some of the ways they can earn beans. When their bean jar is full, each boy gets to choose a fun activity of their choice such as swimming, going to the movies, miniature golfing, etc. My hairdresser told me it works wonders with her boys.

I went straight to the store after my hair was cut and got a glass jar for M and some kidney beans. The following Sunday we had a family home evening on obeying our parents. We introduced the bean jar to M and we let him decorate it with stickers. He was pretty excited about it.

The following morning I woke him up and the first thing out of his mouth was, "Is my bean jar full?!"

Ha, sorry, not quite yet little one.

No joke people, the bean jar has worked wonders!!! M is much better at trying to obey and help out around the house. As for me, I feel like it helps me to focus on the good things M is doing instead of so much of the negative. And, as we all know, pointing out the positive in people does way more than pointing out the negative--and it is no different with kids.

So thankful for the help Heavenly Father is so willing to give us!