it is OK...

Today I listened to a talk by Sis. Linda S. Reeves from the April 2014 general conference, Protection from Pornography- a Christ-Focused Home. As I was listening to the following paragraphs, I couldn't help but think, "This is for you!" 

She said:

Some of you have heard me tell how overwhelmed my husband, Mel, and I felt as the parents of four young children. As we faced the challenges of parenting and keeping up with the demands of life, we were desperate for help. We prayed and pleaded to know what to do. The answer that came was clear: “It is OK if the house is a mess and the children are still in their pajamas and some responsibilities are left undone. The only things that really need to be accomplished in the home are daily scripture study and prayer and weekly family home evening.”

We were trying to do these things, but they were not always the priority and, amidst the chaos, were sometimes neglected. We changed our focus and tried not to worry about the less-important things. Our focus became to talk, rejoice, preach, and testify of Christ by striving to daily pray and study the scriptures and have weekly family home evening.

Wow. As a busy mom, her words helped me to feel relief and a peace! I wanted to share what insights I received from her talk...before I forget.

Tiffany,

It is OK you have piles and piles of laundry. 

It is OK that your counters and floors never seem to be free of crumbs.  

It is OK that the shower never seems to get cleaned. 

It is OK if your appliances aren't cleaned on a regular basis. 

It is OK to say no to some things. 

It is OK that your 'to-do list' each day doesn't get done.

The only things that really matter are daily scripture study, prayers, and weekly family home evenings. Keep your focus on these things. Plan for a time in your day to make these things happen--especially time to plan family home evening.

Stop with the unnecessary guilt. Enjoy this time with your children! You have just been given the "OK" that your house doesn't have to be spotless! (Shoot for healthy enough to not get sick, dirty enough to enjoy life!)

Soak up this time Heavenly Father has given you and Jake to teach your children about Him, our Savior, and the Gospel. 

These thoughts made me think of a picture from a family home evening we did a couple of months ago. We talked about a testimony, and what tools we have been given to build and strengthen our own testimonies. I'll be honest, when I first saw the pictures I thought, "Whoa! Look how dirty the doors are. I didn't realize how bad they had gotten." Now, after listening to Sis. Reeves talk, I can look at the picture with a smile on my face and a peace in my heart. A smile for the fingerprints on the door, and my somewhat homely looking children. And a peace knowing that gospel learning was taking place. 

Strive for more moments like these! ^^^

motivation for the week (and the next 20 years or so...)

I found this quote today that really struck a chord with me:

“Parents need to remember that being home isn’t just a time to rest and take it easy, although that is a part of being at home. Rather, it is mostly a time for faith, a time to search for ways to strengthen the family. We may struggle sometimes at work and other places to exercise our faith fully and keep our priorities in place, but if some priorities have to suffer, let it not be at home. With the family is where we really must be at our best. We must not let our guard down. We must truly show our children how to live by faith.” 

-Gene R. Cook, Raising Up a Family to the Lord 

Mr. M, about 18 months

Baby J, 6 weeks

How I love these babies of mine!

I remember something my mom told me when M was younger that has always stuck with me. We were talking about parenting and how to try and raise good kids. She said something along the lines of, "You don't get a do-over as a parent. Put in the time, effort, and work that it takes to be a good parent when your children are young. That way, however they turn out (hopefully really good), you can be at peace knowing you gave it your very best." 

Being a parent is hard, really hard. I have moments and days that I wish I could "do-over." How thankful I am for a loving Heavenly Father, who will make up for my weaknesses as a parent, if I will but put my trust and faith in Him--and then show that trust and faith  by my actions.

Here is to trying to be a little better this week with my actions! 

hard is good

Last week was a bit of a rough one.

I have really been struggling with all of the changes and demands of life with two kids. Don't get me wrong, my heart overflows with gratitude each day for the gift of these priceless bundles of joy--it has just been quite overwhelming for me.

For different reasons concerning these changes, last week was quite rough. Tears were shed as my efforts to get at least something noticeable done around the house, take care of the kids, and most importantly--spend quality time with them, seemed to prove to no avail.

At the peak of my frustration, I went with the young women in our ward to the Church History Museum in Salt Lake. The museum currently has an exhibit called 'Practicing Charity: Everyday Daughters of God' (I about died when I saw the name of the exhibit--so fitting and beautiful!). I'm not gonna lie, with the week I was having, I was pretty stressed and overwhelmed about going. However, all of that went away the second we walked into the exhibit. Between the adorable elderly man playing beautiful hymns on the piano and the paintings/depictions of the exhibit, all of my stress melted away. I was reminded of the gift it is to be a daughter of God and to be a mother. Truly, it was a perfectly placed tender mercy.

Motherhood is hard, but hard is good. I am learning that it is during these times that we truly turn to the Lord, humble, submissive and fully ready, for help and guidance on what we can do to help our individual children. It is during these times that we can, as Elder Holland once said, go to the Lord and "pound on the doors of heaven" for guidance concerning our children, and He will help us.

The exhibit was nothing less than incredibly beautiful--both in what I saw and what I felt. Here are a few of my favorite paintings with their depictions:

"To be human is to have the faith to remember our immeasurable individual worth and then labor each day to repent, to change, and to trust that we do not labor alone."

Love that. I'm putting it on my mirror as my mantra for the new week.

If at all possible, go see the exhibit! It is absolutely beautiful. If not, you can find all of the paintings and explanations here.You won't be disappointed.

I am so thankful to be a daughter of God with a mother heart. Whether we have children or not, as daughters of God, we all have a mother heart--a heart of love, comfort, and service. 

not 'just a mom'

Whenever I get a little cheesy about being a mom on my blog, Jake teases me and refers to it as a "mom blog" post. His criteria for a "mom blog" would be:

1. They post all about the crafts they are currently doing.
2. They post about how wonderful and perfect their children are.
3. They post a lot of professional looking pictures of their family.
4. They spend all of their time creating a "perfect blog" so they look like the perfect family, but don't spend much time with their family because they are so busy with steps 1-4. 

Seriously?! Who is this guy? (I love you, hon!) Besides being very stereotypical and a little absurd, I completely understand what he is saying. I didn't realize how aware he was of the "blog world." I hope I do not come across as Jake's definition of a "mom blog," but this post might come off as a "mom blog" post. But I promise, it is a good message. It is a quote from Oprah, so it has to be good, right?!

I imagine we have all been asked the question, "What do you do?" Meaning--what do you do to contribute to society? And until about a year ago, I never had a problem answering. "I am going to school and working," or, "I am student teaching," and then, "I teach 8th grade English."

Except for, now a days, I am a stay-at-home mom. So now when people ask me that question, I usually respond, "I'm 'just a mom.'" Ever heard that response from someone before? I'm sure you have. And what is worse is that I usually respond with a somewhat awkward smile as I try to think of something else to say that will make me sound more qualified, interesting, or important. 'Just a mom' doesn't seem to justify what I do each day.

First of all, do NOT get me wrong, I absolutely love being a mom. I know it is the most important thing I could be doing with my life right now. However, when asked "what I do," being 'just a mom' doesn't sound as exciting as "I teach 8th grade English!" (Which hey, that might not sound exciting to you, but it sure was for me!) Why am I telling you this? Let me get to the point.

The other day I started reading I Am a Mother by Jane Clayson Johnson. Jane was an extremely successful news reporter before giving it all up to become a mother. She talks about how a mother usually doesn't give herself enough credit for the role she plays. Most of the world describes success by what is accomplished, or achieved. Being 'just a mom' doesn't sound very accomplished according to the world's idea of success. Because, really, how hard is it to make mac'n'cheese and wipe a runny nose all day? (Harder than you would think...)  However, she believes that "...a righteous mother is the embodiment of success." I like her definition of success better.

She then shares a quote from Oprah, who said: "I believe the choice to become a mother is the choice to become one of the greatest spiritual teachers there is. To create an environment that's stimulating and nurturing, to pass on a sense of responsibility to another human being, to raise a child who understands that he or she is created from good and is capable of anything--I know for sure that few callings are more honorable. To play down mothering as small is to crack the very foundation on which greatness stands.

"The world can only value mothering to the extent that women everywhere stand and declare that it must be so. In our hands we hold the power to transform the perception of motherhood.... We should no longer allow a mother to be defined as 'just a mom.' It is on her back that great nations are built."

Wow. LOVE that quote! Every mother is in a different situation. Life is perfect for none of us. And for all who desire to become a mother but have not yet been granted this desire, please know that you are in my prayers, really. I know there isn't much to say to bring comfort.

In closing, for all of those times I have been asked 'what I do' and I lamely responded, "I am 'just a mom,'" let me have a repeat: With a thankful heart I declare that "I am a Mom!" Despite what others may think, I know that what I do each day matters! And though my life as a mother is at times mundane and/or routine, that is okay. I know what I have given up to be a mother, but I know who I have given it up for.

This little guy. And he is pretty worth it.

Learning to savor my "normal days"

"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are." 

 
Currently, my day consists of changing diapers, laundry, cooking, cleaning, and entertaining a two-year-old. I love it. I consider it a blessing to be doing these things each day. However, I imagine like many of you, I have fleeting moments where I find myself wishing for a future phase of life. Thoughts like, "It will be so nice when Jake is done with grad school," or "It will be so nice when M is potty trained,"or even, "It will be so nice when I can go back to teaching." 

This week the Lord has reminded me about the importance of finding joy in the journey--something I sometimes forget to do. I was inspired by a piece of writing I stumbled upon that was written by Mary Jean Irion. These are the closing paragraphs of an essay she wrote: 

A normal day! Holding it in my hand this one last moment, I have come to see it as more than an ordinary rock. It is a gem, a jewel. In time of war, in peril of death, people have dug their hands and faces into the earth and remembered this. In time of sickness and pain, people have buried their faces in pillows and wept for this. In time of loneliness and separation, people have stretched themselves taut and waited for this. In time of hunger, homelessness, and want, people have raised bony hands to the skies and stayed alive for this….

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, savor you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it will not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky, and want more than all the world your return. And then I will know what now I am guessing: that you are, indeed, a common rock and not a jewel, but that a common rock made of the very mass substance of the earth in all its strength and plenty puts a gem to shame. 

The day is over, and now I will sleep. 

These paragraphs are beautifully written and full of wisdom. We have probably all been guilty of wishing away a normal day "...in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow." During the stressful and mundane moments of motherhood, it is sometimes easy to lose sight of what a treasure it really is. After finding these words of wisdom, I have really tried to make a conscientious effort to find joy in the journey of each day! There is so much happiness to be had in changing diapers, folding laundry, and being with my child. I know there will come a day when I will yearn to have these precious days back.